Kisses!!! ...And a few lovely photos

Well, it seems my sweet little boy has finally starting returning my endless barrage of kisses! Perched in front of me with his hands on my neck and face (usually right after a feeding), he'll look me squarely in the eyes, smile, and then lean in for a big, wet, open-mouthed, gummy, baby kiss on my cheek, nose, mouth or chin -- wherever he happens to land. I'll smile and kiss him back, then he'll laugh and do it again, and back and forth we'll go for a few minutes before he's done and ready to play another game. These are quickly becoming some of my favorite moments of the day... I never thought I'd enjoy baby drool so much!!

A few days ago, we enjoyed dinner with our friends Dave and Nona Davenport, and Nona snapped some adorable photos of our little one modeling her hand-knit baby leg warmers, soon to be for sale in her Etsy shop and on her blog (http://nonapearl.blogspot.com/). The pics are just too precious not to share, so here they are... enjoy!

So THIS is what everyone was talking about.

Many times throughout my pregnancy (and periodically before that), friends and relatives wistfully reminded me how wonderful motherhood would be, but how nothing could prepare me for the emotional journey that it would entail: the joys, the sorrows, the tumult, the exhaustion, the change, the growth. I listened, nodded and smiled -- not skeptically, but sincerely believing them and looking forward to embarking on this journey myself.

As my little one grew inside me, I gradually came to feel that my journey had already begun. I felt deeply bonded to my son, as if I already knew him in utero. I imagined his face, his temperament, his habits, his tiny toes and dimpled elbows. I envisioned him at every stage of his development, from a tiny newborn to an awkward 11-year-old to the groom with whom I would dance on his wedding day. Surely my imaginings couldn't be too far from reality, I thought. Isn't this part of "mother's intuition?" When I told my mom how much I already loved him, she said, "just you wait. It hasn't even begun yet." I nodded and smiled again, but this time I didn't really believe her.

Reality began setting in with a blood-curdling wail as I delivered Sebastian. Indeed, I realized afterward, nothing could have prepared me for the supernatural intensity of giving birth. It was, in every possible way, beyond anything I'd ever imagined. It was so agonizing, but so deeply joyful; so ordinary, but so transcendental and transformative. In the weeks that followed, I wondered how something so natural could take on such a monumental, supernatural significance. How something for which I'd been preparing for months, years -- my entire life, even! -- could so completely confound me. How all of my expectations and preparations could, in an instant, disintegrate into distant memories in the face of actually living this process.

THIS was my initiation into the emotional journey of motherhood, and countless times since then, I have experienced the same realization anew. I wonder how I can derive such supernatural joy from such ordinary things: fingers and toes; a perfect, round belly; downy newborn hair; a smile; a coo; a hand reaching out to me; two perfect, hazel eyes dancing at the sound of my voice.

Sebastian laughed today for the first time. It was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard: pure, fresh and spontaneous, like a little fountain coming bubbling out of him. And when I think about how this was the very first of literally hundreds of thousands more laughs to come, I am moved to tears. How deeply privileged I am to be able to witness this, my son's first laugh. What an honor it is to care for him, to love him, to nurture him every day; to inspire his growth and participate in his milestones. THIS is what everyone was talking about. The extraordinary significance of such ordinary things. This profound love that cuts so deeply into my heart it actually hurts. This raw, vulnerable, painful joy that continues to confound me every day.

New Pix

This pwesent is bigger than meeee!

Ya I'm cute...so what

Oops... I made a bubble. :)

Playin with my toys Yay!

So many milestones! (mama's first post)

Hi all!

Sorry to say I don't have any new photos to show off, but I do have lots of exciting news about our little one! Since Sebastian turned three months old, he has been changing SO quickly. I can hardly keep up with all of his new developments, so wanted to share them with y'all before I forget (and you know I will -- love that mommy brain!).

On January 15th, he rolled over for the first time! He was on his tummy and apparently decided he'd had enough, because in one swift movement he was on his side and then his back. He looked at me in bewilderment, as if wondering what in the world had just happened, and I burst into such excited laughter that I think I scared him! He has repeated the feat a few times since then, but has yet to actually enjoy it. He still gets that wide-eyed surprised look on his face every time. Pretty cute!

Also earlier this month, he learned how to reach for, grab, hold, and manipulate his toys. He seemed to master these skills very quickly, going from simply watching me dangle them above him to grabbing, shaking and "eating" them in about two days! Watching his hand-eye coordination develop so quickly has been truly amazing -- and it continues today. Tonight he held his own bottle (his sleepy time "milkshake" -- expressed milk with a little rice :) all by himself for about 30 seconds! Pretty remarkable for three months old -- but I might be a little biased. ;)

At around the same time, he also discovered his fingers, and loves to suck on them. Sometimes it's just the first two, sometimes a whole fist, but his favorite configuration seems to be middle two fingers in his mouth, with index and pinky resting on either side. It's SO cute -- I need to snap a picture of this for sure. :)

Perhaps because of his new self-soothing skills, Sebastian has also been sleeping much more soundly and consistently at night. For the past 10 nights or so, he's been waking just once or twice to eat and going back to sleep very quickly. This may not be the 10 continuous hours we're waiting and hoping for; but it's a huge improvement over the waking-every-three-hours routine he was pulling before, so we're very thankful!!

And just this week, he's started staying awake for much longer periods during the day without getting cranky, and he's finally dropped his fourth nap. (Yes, he was actually taking four naps a day for the longest time!)

While the milestones are certainly fun, however, nothing compares to the joy of getting to know my son as the tiny, budding person that he is. He's definitely a happy little "mama's boy," smiling and flirting with me all the time -- especially when we talk back and forth in his unique little baby language. :) He's usually fairly amenable, but will let me know in no uncertain terms if something is not to his liking! Unfortunately, being held by other people seems to be one of these dislikes... yes, he is definitely a mama's boy. But he also enjoys playing by himself and will focus on his activity -- whatever it is -- for a surprising length of time before wanting to move on to something else. He loves being around lots of action, looking around in wide-eyed wonderment, but also seems to get overtired easily when we're out and about. I guess it's hard work being a little baby, trying to process and make sense of this great big world. :)

Well, that's all for now. Photos and videos to follow soon!

Heather